Get out of that funk and deal with the minor setback

I’m going back to work in a month. I will be running this business alongside my other part time job. There’s still a LOT of work to do in setting up Fly Life, and I know that it’ll be hard work once I return to my other job. But that’s okay. I’ve been studying at uni while working full time for the last six years. I know I can handle a full workload.

Plus, I’ve planned ahead. I organised to put my baby in day care one day a week for the last six weeks of my maternity leave. This would give him (and me) a chance to adapt to day care. It will hopefully mean that I’m not crying after dropping him off when I’m on my way to work. I would get a full day each week to focus completely on my business. I also knew that babies tend to get sick when they first start day care, so I figured we should try and deal with at least some of that before I’m back at work.

He had his first day there a couple of weeks ago. A couple of days later he had conjunctivitis, croup, and a terrible cold. Ugh. Kids are so gross! And then of course after several sleepless nights and a germy baby rubbing his slimy face all over me, I got sick too. So we’ve now had a week and a half of sick baby, sick mama, and life passing us by.

Sick baby, tired mama

I handled the first week okay. But then the baby started seeming better and I’d feel hopeful that things were getting back to normal… and then he would crash again. I was so convinced he was past all the yucky contagious stuff that I took him to visit my family. And then last night he seemed gross and gunky and germy and miserable again. This sent me plunging into despair.

I’m mostly upset that we’ve probably now passed germs on to the rest of the family, when I thought we were beyond that. But I’m also just so tired and want things to be back to normal. And then there’s the fact that I’ve neglected so many things I need to do because I’ve been busy cuddling a baby and washing everything constantly to try and reduce the lingering germs. Panic is setting in as my return-to-work date rapidly approaches.

I was a complete misery-guts last night. And it took my darling husband to point out that some things are beyond my control, but I can control how I respond to it. I wanted to smack him for being so rational.

It’s all about re-framing

You’ve probably heard the term “re-framing” before. Re-framing means looking at a situation from a different perspective. It’s a key component of building resilience.

When something is … well… shit, try and find genuine positive points about it. It doesn’t stop it being shit, but it takes a bit of the stink out.

So these are the things I’ve been thinking about since my husband’s gentle lecture.

I’m grateful it’s not worse
There are so many families out there with seriously or chronically ill babies, and I just don’t know how they do it. This is just a virus, and while it’s miserable and tiring and hard work, I know it will pass eventually and things will be fine.

At least my house is getting clean
This has forced me to go on a bit of a cleaning rampage and it’s kind of nice to know that things have been washed that I would normally postpone.

Bonus cuddles
As my maternity leave comes to an end I’m feeling sad about missing out on time with my little guy. While he’s sick all he wants is cuddles, so even though this can be frustrating when I need to do other things, I’m grateful for every second I get to hold him.

Work can wait
I am so excited about this business, and have several new services in the pipeline that I’m keen to launch. But at the moment, I am not completely dependent on the income of this business. I have not had to miss any client appointments, and have not let anyone down. Really, it’s just a minor setback and I will be able to catch up when things are settled down.

Getting on with it

My baby and I are back in quarantine until I’m sure we are definitely well. But instead of sulking about it, I’m focusing on the positives and just trying to do whatever I can with a baby on my hip. I’m feeling much more rational and in control.

Because my husband is right (don’t tell him I said that): you can’t control the situation, but you can control how you respond to it.

And as I would say: you can’t change it from being shit, but you can take the stink out of it.


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2 Replies to “Get out of that funk and deal with the minor setback”

  1. Reframing is what my mother-in-law taught me many years ago – she would phrase it as “shift your thinking”. It is amazing how it does make such a difference and I use that phrase still when offering help to others in despair.

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