How attribution bias is holding you back

Have you noticed that when other people get something good (eg. a dream job, a beautiful house, an award etc), we tend to think that they just got lucky and all their circumstances made it easy for them.
Whereas when things go right for us we attribute our success to our hard work and good choices.
On the other hand, when things go badly for other people we are quick to identify how they made poor choices or didn’t work hard enough.
And when things go badly for us we blame the external circumstances and our bad luck.
Isn’t this fascinating? In psychology it’s called the attribution bias, and it’s a really deep and interesting topic to delve into.
But I raise it here because it can hold you back from taking responsibility and being accountable for your outcomes. And the point of taking responsibility is not to make you feel bad. The point is that when YOU are responsible, YOU can change the outcomes! You do not have to continue to be a victim of circumstances beyond your control.
You will achieve so much more when you realise that YOU create your results, REGARDLESS of the external factors.

Don’t be afraid of the waves

I was listening to a Marie Forleo interview with Bethany Hamilton, who lost her arm to a shark attack when she was 13 and then went on to become a champion surfer. One of the questions was “how do you get over your fear of big waves?”

I was interested in the answer because I too am scared of waves.

Bethany’s answer was simple, yet profound.

She said you just need to become a really strong swimmer first, because that will build your confidence and know that you can get out of any big waves.

Now, I am not, and will probably NEVER be a really strong swimmer. I just don’t want it badly enough to put the practice in and get better at it. Who knows, maybe I will work on that someday, but it’s not on my list right now.

But Bethany’s answer applies out of the water too.

I am afraid of actual watery waves, but I am more afraid of the figurative waves that inevitably hit us during our life. The unexpected tragedies, the periods of great uncertainty, the life-altering circumstances that come from nowhere.

But just like having a swimming coach would help me develop my swimming strength, life coaching has developed my mental strength, my resilience, my ability to manage any situation and to have the confidence that I can get through anything, no matter how big the wave is.

If you want to build your strength to ride the waves (not the watery ones), I can help you. Not only will you learn to take your life where you want it to go, you will learn how to manage the things that are out of your control.

You can book a free consult here:

Make it a happy new year

There’s a common theme around the New Years wishes this year: “Let’s hope it’s better than last year!”

But how about we stop just hoping for the circumstances to get better, and commit to doing everything we can to MAKE it the year we want it to be.

Because no matter what is going on in the world, there are always going to be challenges, shitty circumstances, and barriers to your goals.

And when you accept that, and take responsibility for managing your mind and being who you want to be REGARDLESS of the circumstances, THAT’S when you will move forwards and achieve your dreams.

I can help you learn to do this. If you are ready to make 2022 the year you feel happy, driven, calm, and accomplished, NO MATTER WHAT new barriers might pop up, book a free consult now.